Thursday, May 27, 2010

Sigh....

I feel the need to update this, as it's been a couple of weeks. I've tried staying raw, and since our pool is open now, I've been swimming vigorously/using resistance training/etc. on top of that. All for...0.00 lbs of weight loss.

We're talking eating around 1200 calories raw, total (roughly), and exercising/weight training at LEAST 2 hours a day...and that's not counting the amount that I sweat out during each infrared sauna session (at least 30 min to an hour). I've been doing this every day, 7 X a week, without fail.

No weight loss.

I've felt a little better, in general, because of the exercise (I love swimming and feeling the cool water around me - and it gives me a natural high to get out of the sauna and go running straight to the pool), but I'm flabbergasted at the lack of weight loss. I was so sure I had lost weight (although my clothes didn't indicate that), just from the pure scientific standpoint, and I withheld weighing myself for a while, because I wanted to see the scale reflect a significant loss (and so I'd feel good about myself). But...nope. Nada. Zilch. Nothing. In fact, I GAINED.

I really don't know what else to try, short of a water fast, which I simply don't have the time to do (chasing 2 small kids all day and working a lot when I'm not with them...not much time for that, especially since you need lots of rest for that sort of thing).

I try to eat lots of veggies, but I eat a lot of fruit, too (probably 50% fruit, and 50% veggies). It dawned on me that I must be so seriously insulin resistant that my body may be trying to convert the fruit sugars into fat (and I'm exercising like crazy, so it's not able to...so I'm just keeping status quo). Not sure about this, since I am definitely NOT a doctor, but I just don't understand it otherwise.

It turns out that overall I've gained a little since last post...so my total weight loss since starting in March is only 8 lbs. Very sickening, considering how hard I've worked to get the weight off, but it's the truth. My guess is that I may have gained 2 lbs of muscle weight or something along those lines, which is a GOOD thing...but it sure is frustrating when I don't see ANY results in my clothes or scale readings. :( Uuuugh. And in doing a lot of research on the internet, it appears I'm the ONLY person on the face of this planet who is having this hard of an issue losing weight while raw and exercising. I would do the juice fast again, but I can't afford to have some violent emotional mood swings like I was having last time. Work is getting more stressful and intense for me lately as it is, and based on my last reactions (that were TERRIBLE and rageful) to the juice fast with relatively LITTLE stress, I'm frightened to think about where that would take me at this point. :s

So...my last resort in trying raw, is that I'm going to switch to primarily eating veggies...with very little fruit. Calorie-wise, this is going to big quite a big cutback. I mean, I can only eat so much salad and celery sticks, so this is going to be rough. I am getting desperate, and even if I lost 1 lb a day, I would not meet my goal by July 14 (not even within 10 lbs), so I'm having to take that off of this site, and let it ride and see where it takes me.

I am soooooo frustrated right now. It would be one thing if I was sitting on my butt drinking margaritas and chowing down on pizza and cake...but I am trying so hard to make huge changes (and eating as healthy as possible), including exercising like a madwoman, and the results are sooooo dismal. :( I know I am pre-diabetic and insulin resistant, and in speaking with a doctor friend of mine, she suggested that I may be closer to having diabetes than the test results conclude...which would make sense as to why I cannot lose weight to save my life (literally). That really, really sucks. My body just wants to hang. on. to. every. last. ounce. of. fat.

One thing I would like to eat is berries...such as blackberries...so I might allow myself some every day. My mom has blackberry bushes on her side of the property that are bearing tons and tons of berries each day...and I found some more wild blackberry bushes growing wild on our private road...HUGE, ripe blackberries...all pesticide free...just growing in all their natural goodness. :) So...I'll probably work with a raw-vegan-vegetable-and-berry diet. Sheesh...that sounds so ridiculous that I have to do that, but it is what it is. The FATkins diet...I mean, Atkins...used to work for me a long time ago (about 10 years ago...got down to 110 lbs), but I think I screwed up my metabolism with that diet, because suddenly it didn't work anymore, and I gained weight like crazy one year (no change to my diet, and I was exercising and *thought* I was being healthy). I used to think Atkins was pretty radical back then, but THIS is even more extreme, I guess.

If a mostly raw veggie diet with 2-3 hours of intense exercise a day doesn't work, then there HAS to be something seriously wrong with me, and I don't think I have another choice but to visit the doctor. I can't live this way anymore. Something has to give SOMEwhere.

What's even more frustrating is that my husband's cousin lost 100 lbs in 100 days simply by cutting his calories and exercising. Now, I know that's an extreme and unusual deal for someone to be able to do that, but he didn't have to do anything radical. In talking to him, he honestly did NOT believe me when I told him all the stuff I was trying to do to lose weight, with little to no success. He and his wife (she lost 20 lbs in 20 days by simple exercising and cutting back on calories, too...she consumes 1500 calories a day and does 1 hour of exercise) flat out told me I must be doing something wrong or lying about it. It really pissed me off. He said, "You just need to find a way of eating and lifestyle that works for you and one that you're happy with." No shit, Sherlock. Been doing that for years, now. They think that doing an all-raw diet with no meat (they kept asking me where I got my protein...ugh, I HATE that question, because it's so STUPID - I get MORE protein that's utilized MORE efficiently through my fruits, raw nuts, and veggies than I EVER did with meat - which btw, always made me feel terrible and sick after I ate it) was totally off the charts in insanity, and then they insisted I must be keeping candy bars in my closet or something to survive. Grrrrr! :( I'm NOT!

Although I wanted to throttle them, I almost don't blame them for being skeptical. If someone else told me the same thing, I don't know if I would have believed them, either. As aforementioned, it totally defies the law of...well, whatever it's called. Physics, or chemistry, or some sort of science. If it takes cutting out or burning 3500 calories to lose a pound, I should be losing SOMETHING every week. I don't, though.

What's even weirder is that I'm drinking lots and lots of water, but I don't urinate as much as I think I should anymore. I'm wondering if some of my body mass is simple water weight that my body somehow thinks it should maintain and hold on to? Even still, I should be burning up SOMETHING. Either way, if the veggie diet doesn't work, then I need to get more tests done. I do NOT want to turn to conventional medicine, but something is really screwed up.

Anyhow, enough venting. Time to make a salad for lunch, so here we go.....

Monday, May 10, 2010

On and on....

I've had a few slip-ups, but we're getting back to raw. As a matter of fact, after reading Nettie's stuff on her juice fast, I'm actually inspired to try to juice fast again! Hubs and I are seriously considering it next week, provided that we start and STICK with 100% raw for this week.

My weigh-in? I lost about 1 lb. Blech...oh well, though...at least the scale is starting to move downwards again. Better than going UP, so I am feeling thankful (especially since I've been on and off again with raw).

One bad thing I did today was drinking some coffee. I don't drink caffeine lately, as a general rule, but the past couple of weeks, I've probably drank a caffeinated beverage about 1-2 times a week. Gotta stop that. I get the initial rush that I desire, but it really exhausts me afterwards (sometimes to the point of needing a nap). SO not worth it!

How on earth did I manage drinking so much caffeine every day on my old way of eating? I used to be such a Diet Coke and Diet Dr. Pepper hound...then I switched to coffee, which is a lot cheaper and you can get a lot more caffeine in one sitting...LOL. And I didn't just drink 1 a day...if we had cokes laying around the house, my husband and I would down a 12 pack within 2-3 days...and that's if we were being conservative! When we switched to coffee, we probably had a 3/4 to a pot EACH throughout the day. My poor adrenals!

Nothing much more to update, but I'm getting back into the swing of things. I have a really busy 2 weeks ahead of me, so I'm hoping that I'll be so distracted that I won't be tempted to be "bad" again. I don't know why, but it was so much easier starting on raw at the beginning...cooked foods didn't tempt me in the slightest...and then once I ate a little cooked food, I went on a weird roller coaster. Go back on raw for a few days, and then "cheat" Go back on raw, and then "cheat" again. Go back on raw...well, you get the picture. ;) I know I can do SO much better than that. My metabolism is probably so confused right now...LOL! I need to get it revving again, instead of constantly trying to get the cooked gunk out of me.

I have a little over two more months, and it's looking pretty dismal as to meeting my goals...but I'll try, anyhow. I put on a pair of pants that I didn't think I could fit into, so I've gone down a pant size, anyhow. Not HUGE progress, but progress, nonetheless. :)

Progress, not perfection. Progress, not perfection. Progress, not perfection....

SIGH!

I'm going to weigh in another few days, and there better be some more downwards stuff, scale-wise. :D I'm going to try and avoid hissy fits over it, too. :) I'm scared about going through massive emotional detox again, though. Uuuuugh.

Gotta go slurp down some juicy honeydew! Mmmm. Maybe munch on some coconut meat and have some coconut juice. (Just the plain kind - not the young thai ones.) Speaking of regular coconuts, they are super cheap at our local supermarket ($0.88 each!)...but I can't find a whole lot of info on it, raw-wise (I only read about the young ones...I doubt these are young?). They're still raw and satisfying, though...so I guess I'll keep on eating 'em unless I read otherwise that I shouldn't.

Aw, well...I'll be picking up some young thai coconuts in a couple of days, when I go in to the office. (I work from home part time, and commute a day or two a week when I can...although I wish I didn't have to work at all, I am very blessed to be able to have a job that allows this!) I joke to hubs about "...Goin' to TOWN!" (have to say that with the hickiest accent possible) when I go in to the office, because we live so faaaar out in the middle of nowhere. I'm currently commuting about 1.5 hours each way, although our office is moving a little closer to home (cutting my commute to about 45 minutes to an hour each way...WAY better) next month.

Still, you can't beat the country. I own about 4 acres myself (where my house is on), about 1/2 of it heavily wooded, and my family owns the surrounding 45 acres around it, so it's pretty secluded. My son loves being able to toss perishables to the wildlife outside, in the trees (banana peels, rinds, etc....)...and they ALWAYS magically disappear by the next day. I imagine the animals are getting all kinds of good nutrients from this stuff, too! :D We have raccoons, possums, wild turkeys, road runners, deer, wild pigs, foxes, small bobcat-like cats (seen them from a distance at twilight...kinda scary), tons of wild kitty cats, wild dogs, and all kinds of little critters (squirrels, etc.) that run amok the property, so there's no telling what gets eaten by whom (and who eats who...LOL!) at night.

That being said, I don't have an excuse as to why I am not growing my own garden, composting, etc. except sheer laziness. I really need to start, though - it'll be the healthiest way to stay raw, and it will probably (in the long run) cut quite a bit of grocery cost down for us! My parents and sister already started getting a head start on theirs...I need to catch up. LOL! Plus, I imagine it would help me stay motivated...not to mention the sheer satisfaction of growing some of my own food (and knowing exactly where it comes from).

OK, I'm rambling, so it's time to close for today before everyone starts complaining of keyboard imprints on their foreheads (from falling asleep of boredom in reading these entries). :D

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Okay...Kinda Going Back to Raw....

Well...so much for the juicing part. LOL! Anyone reading this must think I'm insane. I'm doing good just sticking with raw, so maybe I'll just do that for a while again, and quit being so hard on myself. I can't believe what a hypocrite I "yam"! :p I'm usually not so wishy-washy, but these are weird circumstances for me, so...there ya have it. If you don't like it, don't read it. :D Hee hee.

I was doing really well with exercising, and now I'm finding myself slacking off again - ugh! So...back to the ol' treadmill and eliptical runner for me again. I guess I need to stick with what works, and quit trying to reinvent the wheel until I'm on a steady, even keel. Whee! I will say, I love the infrared sauna, so I'm probably going to enjoy sticking with that, too.

I have to say, no more fist-banging episodes for me as of yet (uuuugh, how horrible is that?!), despite my dietary ups and downs. This was another reason why I decided to not do the juice fast again...yet. It makes me "a-feared" of myself. No telling what kind of road rage I might develop, too - eek! :D

Nothing much to update, except that I am TOTALLY recommiting myself to raw again, no exceptions! (Let's see how much of a fool I make of myself from here on out - tee hee.)

Here's to being skinny once again! (Ting!)

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Being Bad

I've been on and off "bad" the past couple of weeks...sometimes being good and sticking to raw 100%, and then sometimes flying off of it. I think once I started eating cooked foods, it started to really mess with me.

I weighed myself today, and I'm still down 11 lbs total, which is shocking, since I thought I would have gained more than I did.

Hubs and I both have been "bad" (even indulging in cocktails/wine here and there...we had pizze one night, and Mexican food again on another...ooooh, naughty), but we're trying to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and start anew. I think we both got "bored" with raw food or something...and once we cheated on the diet here and there, it quickly started to escalate into more and more cheats. I guess the rule of thumb for us for now is...NO CHEATING on this diet for now.

I almost thought I could add a little cooked food with our raw regime, but that seems to trigger me into eating/craving MORE cooked food. Wish this was easier, but...well, it's not. LOL!

I am disappointed in a lot of things...including myself...since I figured by this point, I'd be down a LOT more weight than I am. STILL...all is not lost, and 11 lbs of weight loss is still significant. I just need to lose more. A LOT more. I have to get back to it.

I was doing good earlier last week in exercising...so I definitely need to pick that back up (this may be why I didn't really gain much). My mom has an in-ground pool that will be opened up again (they have a custom cover for it for fall/winter), and I will be hopefully swimming in it every day that I can, which should help immensely on the exercising front. I'm currently using the treadmill, but it's simply not that enjoyable...I LOVE swimming and exercising in the pool (we have weight-like things and stuff to "run" in the water, etc...gives a really great workout, and I looooove every minute of it).

I'm thinking about revamping my whole weight loss goals, since I only have 72 more days or something like that. Even if I lose an aggressive .5 lbs a day, that's 36 lbs. I need to lose more than that to hit 120 lbs...aaaaargh. I don't need to lose 1 lb a day or anything like that, but still...I guess if I am within 10 lbs of 120, then I should be happy.

Then maybe I could hit my goal weight by end of summer. That's still not unreasonable, but I still have a lot of work to do to get there. :) Oh well...have to stay positive, and focus on being HEALTHY (especially after these cooked binges).

Hubs and I started a juice fast today, but I think I may modify it to juicing 2 out of 3 meals each day. (Or, basically, having 1 meal raw and drinking raw juice the remainder of the time.) I think this would be more doable for me...I'd probably lose weight faster than being regular raw, but my detox symptoms won't be as severe as it was last time. (Don't think I can handle that again...not now, anyhow.) I also think I could stay on this regime indefinitely, be able to work out, feel better, etc. There may be days where I'm busy, and I just do the juice only...we'll just see.

...

Ahhh...I just finished an avocado salad...we drank only juice (honeydew...omg, fantastic) early today. I think I can do this regime much easier than a flat-out juice fast.

Till next time! I'll try to update with a weigh-in every couple of days, just to see what kind of progress I'm having.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Day, um...something like...33 Raw?

Okay, I have to 'fess up. I was bad for two days and ate cooked foods. I'm not going to say that I just went all hog wild and loaded up on cakes and cookies, but one day I ate a veggie Subway sandwich because I felt so crappy...(and then ate a small cheese sandwich later that evening just 'cause...!) and the next day, I gave in to eating Mexican food (cheese enchiladas, beans and rice) for lunch. Hubs only cheated for a day, but he ate meat on that day (and a Subway sandwich, too).

Bad, bad, bad!!

I could beat myself up over this, or I can move on and go right back to raw (which I did, today).

I was at an all time low (and very dehydrated at that point...but who cares, I'm counting it! LOL!!) earlier this week with a total of 15 lbs weight loss. As of this morning, after my processed food binge, I went back to a total of 10 lbs of weight loss (gained 5 lbs in 2-3 days, which is pretty astonishing). I'm guessing that my body is so loaded with sodium and crud, that I'm retaining some water. I was chugging water like it was going out of style over the past few days, but it's not coming back out very much. So...who knows. I'll just weigh myself next week, and hopefully my body will have recovered from the horrors I just exposed it to. LOL! I'm going to guess that my 30 day average of weight loss was around 11-12 lbs or so. Not too bad, but not earth-shattering, either. Half of that weight I lost in the first week.

So how did I feel after eating cooked foods for a coule days? The Subway sandwich felt great, at first. Then I started feeling sick, like my stomach was overloaded and heavy.

The next day, when I ate the cheese enchiladas and their friends, Mr. Beans and Ms. Rice, I felt horribly over-full and awful afterwards. I didn't eat that morning, and I didn't eat after that lunch until later that night, in which I ate fresh fruit. I feel better today, although my body is telling me to eat bread and cheese again...no...no...no!

Some people talk about eating cooked foods and them tasting "dead" and such after being on a raw food diet. Um, not my experience...just being honest, here. It all tasted completely amazing! It was like the flavors just exploded in my mouth, unfortunately. It was the sick feelings afterwards that got to me, though.

So, in a nutshell...technically I'm back on raw and technically only about day 31 if you don't count those other two days. Whatever...I guess I shouldn't be so nit-picky, and just get back up on the horse. I have to say, I've been awfully good on this diet up until this point, so I'll just refrain from beating myself up.

I just wish that I felt better eating raw. I mean, I KINDA do...but I still have yet to feel the energy bursts and all that rot. I'm tired ALL the time, and even after 8-9 hours of sleep, my body wants to take 2 hour naps, which I simply don't have time for. I guess that's all detox (and now I've royally screwed that up with my little 2-day binge), but sheesh...I was hoping to feel better after a month. I would say about 80-90% of the time, I've felt like CRAP on this diet thus far. Not good. I honestly think this attributed to my little cooked food outburst/rebellion.

In looking at this blog, I hope anyone reading this isn't deterred from going on a mostly raw or high raw/all raw food lifestyle. I know what I am posting is mostly negative, but I'm basically just venting. What I believe is causing all my symptoms is simply detox...and they apparently are pretty classic - just NOT easy. The only thing that's NOT classic is my slow weight loss, even on the juice fast. I still get a little pissed off when I think about it (see previous posts on it), since I went through sooo much only to lose sooooo little on it...LOL!

The emotional detox has slowed down. The days I was on cooked foods, I was almost euphoric - hate to say it - even with my stomach feeling all icky and all. I'm kind of dreading these next few days as I undergo more detox to get my body restarted on this.

I am also hating to say this, but apparently raw food doesn't get weight off of me quickly. At all. Regardless of whether I exercise, sweat my butt off in saunas, etc. I am dubious as to whether or not I'll meet my goal of 120 lbs by my birthday (July 14), since I've got a loooong way to go. Let's just say, at the rate I'm going (12 lbs month or less), I will definitely not be meeting my goals, which is completely disappointing, to say the least. Right now, I'm averaging 1-2 lbs of weight loss a week (before my binge). Before starting this, I was all pumped up and excited to read about people who lost 1/2 lb a day going all raw, and feeling fantastic. There again, I read about people on the juice fast losing 1-3 lbs a DAY at the onslaught of it, too...and again, feeling great.

Nope, not me, though!

There again, I will be much lighter than I WAS, even if I don't hit my goals, so perhaps I can console myself. I just reeeeeeeeeeally, reeeeeeeally wanted to be there @ 120 lbs for my birthday. :(

At any rate, I'm back on the diet, full-force. I guess we'll see where it takes me next?

On an update about my son (turning 5 tomorrow!), the cultures on his urine came back negative for bacteria. No UTIs. No excess calcium in his urine...nor creatine, either. We're all stumped. All other tests came back negative (as in, he doesn't have anything unusual going on). He doesn't hurt anymore, and is acting all normal...so...? The doctor is still sticking with the kidney stone theory, even though the renal ultrasounds all came back clear.

We are all hoping that it was a weird fluke, even if it WAS a kidney stone, and we're watching him really closely (obviously).

That's it for now...'till next time! Perhaps I can post again soon and talk about how awesome I'm feeling, and how I am STAYING on the diet and not straying - LOL!!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Day 24 Raw

I caught a cold from my kiddos a couple of days ago, and I've felt terrible. On top of the regular "detox" terrible, and all. Uuuugh!

Our SAD (Standard American Diet) has really got me a-thinkin' today, as we had an incident with our 4 (almost 5) year old son yesterday and today. He is not participating in an all-raw diet, and we have been feeding him the usual stuff that kids these days get. I am feeling really guilty about this now, as yesterday, he started complaining about his pee-pee hurting. Very concerned, I called the doctor, but it was too late to take him in, and they thought it was likely to be a UTI. He was in such agony every time he went wee-wee, it was just awful. I tried to get him to drink lots of water, and it was just such an act of congress to get him to pee...mainly because he was trying to hold it as long as possible because it hurt him so much to go. :( Poor guy!

I got the appointment first thing this morning, and hubs took him in while I watched our other baby. What was super scary, though, was that my 4 year old woke up this morning and felt great - he even said he went potty with no probs, so I asked him to go again so I could see for myself. He immediately started urinating a RED color pee. It wasn't like straight blood, but it was definitely bloody and red. I nearly had a heart attack seeing that, although my son claimed he felt fine and there was no fever, etc. I thought it was going to be a UTI, so I figured it wouldn't take him long to get through the appt and get back home with some antibiotics.

Weeeeell...the doctor actually thought that perhaps the fact that 1) he was urinating blood and 2) he went from being in horrible pain to suddenly feeling better ... well, she really thought it was more along the lines of a kidney stone, as it didn't appear to be a UTI.

Holy crap! He's only four! How is that possible?

Upon looking up kidney stones in toddlers and young children, apparently this is getting more and more common. The main causes seem to be a diet high in sodium (and our SAD diet ALWAYS contains this - everything from canned food and prepared foods, and even common things like peanut butter - which my son practically eats by the pound....!), diets high in calcium, diets high in sugar, etc. In addition, if the child doesn't drink enough water a day (this is something my son DOES do right...he drinks toooons of water each day - he LOVES our reverse osmosis water, and actually prefers that over sodas and juices, etc.), this can cause them, too.

Although we try to get him to eat "healthy", I must admit that we do feed him processed foods. For breakfast, he'll eat cereal (non-sugar ones), a granola bar, maybe a waffle, or something along those lines (never all of them at once...LOL! And the waffles are actually pretty rare...I try to serve up eggs and toast or something more often for the "protein" part of it.). He may snack on nuts or some cheese or something (I like to try and give him a boiled egg at times, too), and for lunch, he'll have wheat bread (still, it's processed!) with peanut butter and honey and some sort of side snack with it...and for dinner, he likes to eat some variation of pasta, beans, potatoes, or something along those lines...and I try to incorporate a couple of servings of veggies in that meal to round it out. But still...they're usually cooked. When he goes to school a couple days a week, sometimes we'll give him a Lunchable (which are ALL loaded with sodium and processed crap!). I limit straight sugar stuff - only for special occasions (Valentines Day, Easter, Christmas, birthday), and if he gets a lot of it (such as the case with Easter - lots of people, including us, gave him a lot of goodies), I hide the bulk of it and ration out to him veeeeery slowly).

He likes snacking on apples sometimes...sometimes will eat some bananas and grapes. I try to incorporate fresh fruit, but it appears I am not doing enough! He is also extremely skinny, and he never overeats.

Anyhow...long story, short...apparently he passed a kidney stone already, thanks to this current SAD way of eating. He's not even 5 years old! Needless to say, MUCHO changes are about to happen with this. I'm not about to stand around and watch his health deteriorate because he's eating the wrong foods (even if those foods are "accepted" as reasonably healthy by SAD standards). The pain and agony he went through broke my heart, and I swear on my life that I will do whatever it takes for that not to happen again. Even if it means telling friends and family to please abstain from giving him goodies and sweets and sugary treats. I'll figure out a way to give him all RAW treats that taste as good or better!

I'm rambling, but it's really made me think long and hard about these lifestyle changes we're making for ourselves as adults. We need to start with our children! I thought I would perhaps be "depriving" him somehow if I didn't feed him what all the other kids were eating, but all I'm doing is giving him terrible health!

Don't get me wrong...he is feeling fine in every other way...but I am simply stunned that he ended up with (hopefully just one) a kidney stone. There are more tests the doctor is still currently running to determine if he is "prone" to developing more kidney stones...although, quite frankly, I don't care if he's "prone" to it or not...we are simply going to change his diet to waaaaaaaaay more healthy changes so that it simply doesn't happen again.

Overall, I'm still feeling crummy. LOL! Still waiting for this raw diet to give me energy and health and feelings of well-being...yada yada. Surely it'll come by the one month mark? Maybe?

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Day 21 Raw - Fast Completely Broken

Well, I "did dun it now". I was feeling so awful yesterday, that hubs and I made an executive decision to break the fast an start right back to an all raw diet. I told hubs that he didn't have to break his fast, but he did, anyway. He probably figured it would be pretty tempting watching me eat all the raw goodness and goodies, while he does nothing but sip juices.

As SOON as I broke the fast (ate a banana...then later ate a very simple raw green salad), I felt a billion times better. No joke. I went from wanting to lay down and die to feeling good enough to go out and have a good time that evening. Both hubs and I were actually commenting that we almost felt euphoric after eating real food again - it was pretty amazing.

Today, I am doing okay. I think I'm catching my children's little cold that they've passed to each other, as my throat is KILLING me and I feel extremely lethargic again. It's a different kind of lethargy than I felt yesterday, though. I feel crummy, but I was at least functional, and was able to get some work done (yes, I'll work on weekends, mostly from home, though). Yesterday, prior to breaking the fast, it was like my body just completely shut down. It appears my body was simply not ready for a full-on juice fast, so we're putting that plan on hold until I can detox a little more slowly on raw food.

We went to Central Market and I bought a bunch of Medjool dates - yum, my fav!! They tasted soooooo sweet today (I ate four in a row and nearly made myself sick, but they were oooooh, so good!). Actually, everything I ate today tasted fantastic. If there was any benefit of the fast that I can see, it's that it increased my appreciation for simple, raw, fresh food. I was chuckling to hubs that a month ago it would have sounded crazy that eating raw food would feel like a luxury, but it does after that horrible fast.

Don't get me wrong - I think juice fasting is fantastic for some people. Just not for me...not right now, anyhow. I'm thinking about redoing a juice fast later, perhaps if I really plateau in my weight loss, or feel I can't get past a certain point and feel as though the fast might shake it loose. Perhaps I'll do it closer to my goal weight, as in June or July.

Hubs still has the scale hidden, which is just as well, since I'm sure I probably instantly gained back all of the 1.8 lbs I lost. :D We agreed to weigh once a week, and that's IT. No more obsessing over it on a daily basis, which I told myself I wasn't going to do on this journey in the first place (and look at how well I did...NOT!).

I have to say that I feel good about the decision to break the fast, and I feel it was for the best. Who knows? Maybe even five days of the fast did something good for me. I can't think of anything good about it right now, but that doesn't mean something didn't come of it. (As you can see, my outlook has changed dramatically, since yesterday!)

I'm feeling fairly exhausted, so it's time to go to bed!